Answer by Deepak Mehta:
I was the perennial introverted, shy, and socially awkward teen in college. It was, in part, because I come from an overly attached, extra-protective family. I had no idea how to live alone, how to interact with people, how to handle a crisis, how to make decisions on my own. But in the past 5 years since turning 20, I have learned a lot of things. The below are from my personal experience.
- That adults have it all figured out
Nope. Every person you meet, however confident, has their own fears and insecurities deal with. They, like you, are battling their own set of personal monsters, are torn between choices, are trying to hold together the little pieces of their lives.
So, do not get disheartened. You are not alone in feeling everything is fucked up.
- That just because things are fucked up right now, they will always be so
On a long term horizon things get better if you keep trying. I am not saying that life will be easier to tackle, but the thing that has been plaguing you for months now, it surely will be gone.
Do not fret about those poor grades, do not go into depression over a failed relationship. Leave the past in the past.
- (continuing on #2) That you will, at some point, have everything under control
As a kid, I always believed that there will come a point in my life where I will have the answer to everything in life, I will be a 100% financially, emotionally, and physically secure. That nothing would bother me.
But now I know and accept that that is not to happen. But it's fine, right? Wouldn't life be a dull affair if everything was sorted and there was nothing to look forward to?
- That life is too short; there is no time to do things
"Life is short, but it's the longest thing you'll ever do."
– Darcy Smith
There is always time. For anything and everything you want to do. All you need to do is to make better use of it.
And in case you are a 100% occupied with productive things, prioritize. What is more important to you commands a larger share of your time.
- (contrary to #4) That you have all the time in the world, and you will do this one particular thing later
Seriously, don't. If that thought ever crosses your mind, stop. Take that thing out of your wishlist/bucket list etc. Because days, months, and years will pass and you wouldn't even realize. And then you'll look back with regret at why you didn't do it the first day itself.
- That life is a milestone race
It isn't. It's a voyage. An expedition into uncharted waters. There are no milestones, trophies or achievements. There is no finishing line.
Actually, there is. But it's a scary thing right? I mean, when you cross the finishing line of life, you are dead. All those little milestones you are proud of are just markers on the highway that finally leads to death.
And you are on it. At a constant pace. You will reach there eventually, like it or not. And there is no need getting scared. All you can do is have fun, make friends, love, laugh, cry, and grieve and pray that your journey was a fruitful one.